Asylum: Nazi's at the center of the earth

oh boy...

as i was scrolling through netflix i came across this little title and i said well i thought "Iron Sky was gonna be bad but was pleasantly surprised by how well it was made. i can't let all that mental preparation go to waste why no watch the Asylum rip off of Iron sky and see if its even half of the movie Iron sky was." spoilers it is not. i didn't realize it was an asylum film till the credit popped up first thing when i started the movie and i said i better pause this movie get my note pad and a stiff drink before i dig into this turd.
         A little background i personally have never been able to sit through an entire Asylum Production till this one other than sharknado. kudos to these guys i suppose but most of the time i get 10 minutes into Asylum movie before I'm more bored by the movie than i would be looking at a blank screen for 2 hours first one that comes to mind that was like that was Alan Quartermaine but this one had all the star power Jake Busey can bring to bare so at least i got to see him chew the scenery for what felt like 2 hours. this movies actually comes in at 89 minutes with credits but there are so many moments i threw my hands up in the air yelling WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!
i wrote down a few of my favorite lines just so i could quote them for you here it goes
"Antarctica is the new frontier for medical research!"
"When you live in Antarctica for ten years you hear things."
"How are we going to escape?! Were just doctors."
this movies only saving grace is that there is a CG MECHA-ZOMBIE-HITLER and he's mad. honestly I'd suggest if you're going to watch this one stiff drinks all around and you better be with someone to talk about this movie with because it is baffling confusing strangely blocked strangely acted and poorly written. rating as a movie i give it 3/10 as a hilarious cluster of a movie i still can only give it a 4/10. to much of the movie feels like actors acting like bad actors like when you see a TV show or movie in a TV show and they are chewing scenery like it was taffy. the effects are funny and half finished most the time but the rest of this movie its a hard sit.

a brief update

             i have been posting rather haphazardly for the last several years to all who might read this I'm sorry I've not kept a solid schedule for this but i hope i can start i will try and put a review of some kind up every 2 weeks if time and life allows i love to write and share about what I've watched in the pile of terrible movies i own and find though Netflix and now i have a new source to look though with Amazon Prime. my goal for these reviews was to try and stick with easily accessed material with netflix and hulu and all the streaming movie services i could get my hands on but i feel i will start announcing where i found the movie because i own over 400 terrible movies about 100 of those I've probably actually seen.


               So the plan is to release a movie review every other Monday if not every Monday. if you enjoy what i do thanks for your support. if you're not a fan of my rambling diatribes...Sorry? but if you could share what i do with other review lovers or cinephiles I'd appreciate it. i plan to start working extra hard on this now that my living situation has well stabilized and hopefully have a few guest reviews from my fellow reviewer friends.


                As for what i plan to work on the future as far as movies your guess is as good as mine but i have been working on a side project that i will post here when its done i feel an audio version of the reviews might be more palatable for more people but that is just in its infancy so we'll see if i can schedule the time to do it regularly. First step is first hard to follow a review site that goes dead for months and years at a time so lets get regular like Metamucil.(and no im not above the occasional poop joke)

BL

Iron Sky 2012

This movie...

           this movie has been on my list of movies that came out in the last couple years that i have thought would be by all rights a terrible but hilarious movie that would be sure to make me laugh at its cheesiness. I must say i was pleasantly surprised by this movie for the fact of the matter is i was very engaged by this movie despite its ridiculous tropes and its glaring flaws if you buy in its worth a watch. The whole movie if you haven't heard a word about it (aka you don't always troll for bad movies like a masochist strolling through a whip convention like i do) is about Nazis that some how during the fall of the third Reich took to the moon creating a huge lunar base on the dark side of the moon. Well if that basic premise doesn't immediately hook you how about watching space zeppelin launching asteroids at the  earth and Nazi UFOs fighting plasma rifle shooting space shuttles grab you?


            This entire movie is an extreme tongue and cheek bash of just about every government especially the US but all have a little ribbing or jab here and there. CG is NOT syfy quality for this surprisingly good special effects and a few very well shot fight scenes and space battle looks rather good just don't think too hard about this movie and its far more pleasant that you would really think it has any right to be. my overall score for this movie is a 6/10 above average, funny where it needs to be, it veers into trope-y territory from time to time but moves past it just as fast. I suggest this is a one and done movie once you've seen it you probably wouldn't wanna watch it again till you completely forgotten about it but its better that its premise has any right to be.

6/10