Do you remember when to make a post apocalyptic movie all you needed was a over abundance of costume jewelry, enough eye shadow for the whole cast male and female, a leather jumpsuit, and a lot of plastic shoulder pads? welcome to Metalstorm: the Destruction of Jared Syn. where the Cuts between scenes are weird and the scenes between dialogue are weirder love takes a day and a half to bloom and chase scenes are shot by strapping a camera to the hood of their weird looking cars. And everything in the world is based on crystals... including magic? this movie is weird and can't seem to decide what its doing weather it wants to be a sci-fi fantasy or a post apocalyptic piece, best way i can explain the setting is if a poor mans version of Star Wars and a Poorer mans version of Road warrior had a weird fucked up flipper baby and then that made a child with Krull then you would have Metalstorm... well almost... also add a 5 pound bag of Dull and your probably on the money for making Metalstorm. common questions i was asking while watching this movie were "whats happening? Why is it happening? where are we? and simply what?"
I suppose i should try and actually give you a plot summary of some kind but I'm not exactly sure what just happened in front of my eyes Also i can only remember 3 peoples names in this whole movie. Best i got random girl and dad are mining crystals in a cave when they get attacked by a one armed cyborg for mining where they were random girl hides in cave while dad takes the Gack attack and gets his life force drained into a crystal. the cyborg leaves and Dogen shows up to ask all sorts of questions of the girl then they leave to go ask PVC dude what the crystal they found is and figure out its a life force USB drive. The Tech to USB life force is from McGuffen City and no one has ever been there before except this one guy Rhodes so the go to find Han Solo... i mean Rhodes. meanwhile a connection is made between cyborg and obviously evil shoulder pads man who i didn't know was Jared Syn till 45 minutes into the movie i thought it was one armed cyborg. Shoulder pads wants to rule the world so he got a huge magic crystal that does whatever plot convenience says it does so he steals girl from Dogen via teleport crystal. Now Dogen has to find Rhodes, Kill One armed Cyborg, and go after Shoulder pads.
Apparently from the minimal research i did this was supposed to start a resurgence of 3-D but as it goes you'd need a basic; decent script first. the plot was silly and basic, the directing and camera ranged from weird to down right awful as was most of the Acting. With all of the bizarre choices in props, makeup, and scenes in general this movie looks to be little more than a jumbled mess. I give this movie a 2/10 if your movie is more confusing that cool re-think your editing job and just because your movie has 3-D available doesn't mean everything else that makes a movie good should suffer.
Special Thanks To Crash for the suggestion
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